Upcycle Your leftovers - Mexican Pizza

Ok, so this isn't funny as the blog title would imply, but it MUST be blogged about per 2 of my friends. But today, after a rather large trip to the grocery store, making room in the fridge was a necessity. I took all the leftovers out and examined them to see what we could eat for lunch. Many we had to toss. I hate wasting food, so I decided to "upcycle" the salvageable leftovers. I had some re-fried beans, rice and some fajita meat from the Mexican restaurant (last night) and one pre-made pizza shell left from a 2-pack (pizza was dinner one day last week). I knew that pizza crust was a cook-or-die item, so my wheels immediately began to spin. What can I make?

And then it hit me! DUH! Pizza! Mexican Pizza. My two favorite foods rolled into one delicious meal! Here's what I did:

I brushed the crust with a little oil and preheated the oven to 450 per the directions on the crust. Next, I spread the beans on the crust, topped that with the rice and then the meat. A sprinkle of sharp cheddar and my creation was oven ready. Once in the oven (right on the rack because there is no other way to make a good pizza), I reduced the heat to 425. 10 minutes later, my Mexican Pizza was done. A drizzle of salsa (something else that has been in the fridge for quite a while but had yet to expire) and YUM!

I wish I would have taken pictures along the way, but I wasn't thinking BLOG until after.

So that's my story. It was great and easy and since I do stuff like this all the time, and create meals from scratch, I am now going to blog about food - through this humor site, because that's how I roll. (Ha ha - roll....get it? It's a food too?!!??! BAHAHAHA I crack myself up!)

Follow the blog....tell your friends.....tell your family......And enjoy! 

I need to get to writing again, so I am putting the pressure on YOU! I need topics that I can write about in a humorous form. Give 'em to me. List them here and I will write a lovely and funny but on your topic!

Let's talk about "R"

Let's start this redneck party off with "R".  R is mid 50's, long hair, never shuts up, knows everything about everything, drinks too much (they pretty much are all going to have this trait listed), rarely pays for anything, rarely tips, doesn't really have a job (though lately has been working for another "reg"), has NO sensor, filter or off button, and I am guessing here, but doesn't get laid pretty much ever.  If you aren't sure why he's not getting any, please go back and reread his attributes above.

He interjects himself into every conversation and he knows something about whatever it is people are talking about.  And example of his knowledge from last ngiht:  R tried to tell me how to run a bar.  I asked if he had managed restaurants?  He said that he hadn't...he's a welder.  And I said, "well then, I have but I guess you do know more than I do don't you now?"  And I walked away.

Most regulars tolerate him, but there are a few that openly dispise him, and I honestly see why.  He just doesn't know when to shut up.  He's like a little kid.  I was talking to a normal customer about something, and R just kept cutting me off, talking over me...telling this guy his opinion.  I have had 2 men in that bar ask, hinestly ask, for advice on women...a female point of view, and R blurts out both times, over me, they need to "jump on that".  And everytimg I tell him to keep it to himself.  "Jump on that" is not how to woo a woman...(in case any readers were doubting my theory that R is not getting busy with anyone....ever, here's a little more food for thought.)

He gets handsy and huggy with non-regualrs, and though harmless, I am waiting for a random group of people he doesn't know to beat the shit out of him.

Is he harmless?  Pretty much.  Just LOUD and very annoying.  If only the TV remote worked on him.....

Been a while

It's been a while, but I think it's time to start writing again.  I have entered a situation where there is more funny than I know what to do with.  So, I decided it's time to write about the fun that is the hillbilly drama that is the bar.  Before I get into the details, you'll need some background.

This bar is basically a "regular's hangout".  Everyone knows everyone.  Everyone knows everyone's business.  And everyone thinks they know it all.  Most drink to beyond intoxication.  Most are alcoholics.  There are a small handful of people that hang out there that understand things like moderation, financial priorities, drunk driving laws....you know...important stuff.  The rest have no regard for anything and are perfectly content drinking themselves into a virtual coma.

Many have bar tabs.  For us bartenders that equals zero tip after hours of drinking and "buying" rounds for others.

There is a LONG list of people who are banned for life.  And the list grows each week.  I have a list of people I hope and pray end up on this list.

I think it's going to be best for me to do this in groups.  So the next few posts will be some background on the "regs" with names changed, of course.

Help for women buying cars

Car dealers treat men differently than women. We all know it. I think it’s the penis. I decided that I will be bringing one with me next time I buy a car. I am going to bring mine in a box. I am going to slap it down on the desk, flip open the lid and say “now that I have a penis, you can deal with me like you would a man.” When they try to treat you like you are stupid, you can just say, “Let me ask my man.” And talk to the dildo. Then, hold your ear down and listen. “Yeah, he says you are not giving me the best deal you can. He’d like for you to lower that amount.” If you get really mad, you can pick it up and shake it at the car salesman. “We do not like this deal! You can do better.”

My book

I have decided that I am going to write a book called "Stupid Things I've Done". First chapter is going to be about coaching cheerleading......why I torture myself with the evil parents and childish other adults I work with is beyond me!

Since I have not been working, I have been watching old Criminal Minds episodes. In every episode they are looking for a white male, 35-45. So, an episode of Criminal Minds is like my dating life! Fabulous!